Any time we find ourselves dealing inner conflict, we activate a stress response, which may not be ideal for our health. Not only can stress responses increase inflammation in our bodies, but they can also raise blood pressure and heart rates.
How often have you experienced inner conflict in the last few months? Any time a situation or circumstance doesn’t turn out as we expected it to, it may release feelings of anger, stress, frustration or fear.
Sometimes the conflict looks similar to knowing you need to reduce the amount of sodium in your diet, but all you crave these days are salty snack foods. So you may find yourself grabbing a quick snack, and after you’ve finished, you get angry with yourself for once again eating more salt than you need.
Whatever the type of inner conflict, it isn’t good for your mental, emotional, or physical health. In fact, inner conflict may be holding you back from having a healthy, meaning-filled life.
You can’t always avoid inner conflict, but you can learn how to manage it and thus control your stress responses.
Discover five ways to regain control of your life by managing your inner conflict.
Identify and meet inner conflicts
Addressing inner conflict is almost impossible if you aren’t fully aware of the conflict in the first place. So the first step is to identify your inner conflict, but this isn’t as easy as it sounds. You may have been inclined to ignore all kinds of confrontation because it is uncomfortable.
While it is easier to avoid things that make us uncomfortable, the problem is that the more we ignore them, the bigger they get in our minds until they seem impossible.
A few years ago, I was in a place where I hated myself. I hated myself because of my autoimmune conditions. I hated myself because of the medications I had to take. And I took comfort in food. So, naturally, whenever I felt bad, I ate, which added weight to y body. As m body changed, I got angrier with myself.
But what was at the root of this hatred? It turns out it was fear, fear of my conditions and future. I didn’t find this out immediately; I started by writing. I wrote down what I wanted and things that popped into my head, preventing me from what I wanted.
Later, I looked at my writing more closely, allowing me to understand that I was afraid of living with a chronic illness. Having that information allowed me to take steps to deal with my fear. You see, my mind protected me from the discomfort, but it also let me comfort myself with food, which created other issues. Once I could shed light on things, I was able to stop the comfort eating and address my fears.
Balance your rationale and emotions
Getting caught up in the emotional side of inner conflict is easy. After all, focusing on our emotional needs and desires can be easier than focusing on rational thinking. Rational thinking can feel cold. However, if you focus solely on the rational side of things, you won’t be meeting your emotional needs either.
Balancing the emotional and rational sides of things will help you make the best choices for any situation.
For me, journaling my emotions helps me build that balance. Once I identify the emotions and the potential reasons for them, I can consider other options.
Avoid making rash decisions
In the past, when I felt angry or hurt, I would typically go with the first decision that came to me. The problem with acting on rash decisions is that they are rarely ideal.
These days I remind myself that I don’t have to decide anything immediately. Instead, I take a deep breath or two and go for a walk. Why? Because it gives me time and space to think through things, to determine what is best for me and those I care about.
I know how easy it is to make a rash decision when dealing with inner conflicts. But, I also know that remaining calm and thinking things through will always lead to better decisions. You deserve to make the best decisions to have the best life.
Think about what you want
When you get down to it, many of our inner conflicts have to do with not having or doing what we desire. If you spend time pleasing everyone else and putting yourself last, you will feel exhausted and miserable.
It’s okay to take time to think about what you want and focus your energy on that. When you are true to yourself and authentic, inner conflicts seem to disappear.
Practice meditation
I know; meditation seems to be the answer to everything! Here’s why it works with inner conflict. When you practice meditating regularly, you get peace and mental clarity. These two things help you reflect on your life and the things you want or need to change.
Meditation is a skill anyone can learn at any time. Best of all, once you learn this skill, you can use it whenever you feel inner conflict or want to get focused on things.
These five steps can help you manage your inner conflicts and lead to a less stressful, more meaning-filled life while controlling your chronic condition.
I know from experience that living with chronic conditions is hard. I also know that inner conflict creates inflammation and potentially increases flares. If you need help managing inner turmoil, or are uncertain what is causing your stress, let’s connect and get you back to living life beyond chronic illness. Supportegy Wellness provides chronic illness support through various proven ways, including chronic illness support groups.